I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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