Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
