I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
