So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
