I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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