careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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