I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
