he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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