new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
