Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
