i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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