I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Randomize
