Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
