would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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