She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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