Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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