Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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