two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
This house was built for laser tag.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
