I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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