hell yes lets make some ravioli
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
