YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
