she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
