Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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