I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
