It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
