UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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