Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
