Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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