i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
