i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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