He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
