I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
