where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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