Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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