i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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