you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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