we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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