Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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