Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
