my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize