Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
