You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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