and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
