Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize