that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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