I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
