I can tuck mytits in my pants
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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