shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
