Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
