I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
