erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
