nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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