Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
