Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
