i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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