Nicole vs. Life
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
