Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
