Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
