Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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