he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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