how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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