"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
