When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
