I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
