You're completely useless in the revolution.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
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